Self-Improvement Scorecard

Pretty much as long as I've known people who had studied abroad, I've been hearing about how much it changes you. Characteristically, I figured that wouldn't affect me; I've changed a lot during the course of college, it's something you can't avoid, and I kind of figured I'd reached the end of that. It's always hard to see the changes in yourself, but being in this new environment has given me a much better backdrop against which to examine this. It's been almost exactly three months since I first landed at Brussels National Airport and I think it might be about time to examine some of the things that have changed about me, and to think a little bit about the things I'm still eager to get back to.

Food: I eat a much greater variety of things since I've got here. Fun new foods have included goat cheese and rabbit, as well as the raw herring episode, which will never be repeated. I can't afford to cook like a gourmet and certainly not to go out to eat like one, so when we have program-paid dinners, I've learned to appreciate whatever comes with my meal, regardless. I figure, these people make food for a living--I can probably trust what they come up with.

Also on the food note, I find myself cooking better and healthier than before. Not having a microwave has required I learn to cook, for real--I'm using fresh ingredients and new recipes, including trying some combinations of my own. I'm learning that oil can be used for so much more than just cooking, and that measuring cups are in fact for chumps. I've also cut meat out of my diet almost completely for financial reasons; this has led to me searching a lot of vegetarian sites for recipes and to make sure I'm staying healthy. While I'm not swayed enough to make the jump to vegetarianism, it has me thinking a lot more about what I put into my body. Hopefully the healthy trend will keep going at home. I've also remembered to take my vitamin the whole time I've been here.

All this talk about healthy eating brings me to health in general. I've lost about 6 pounds since I got here, but that may be a bit off since I can only estimate based on kilogram conversion. I walk a lot more, including the four flights up to my apartment every day. Since it's gotten warmer here in Brussels, I'm trying to walk more; my 30 minute c-wayommute to school everyday translates to a 45 minute walk, and the walk is often less frustrating. I'm going to try to walk it at least one-way on these nice spring days. It's exercise that has really been lacking from my routine since I graduated high school. It's not very intense, but I feel how tired I am afterwards and know I have to overcome this. Ideally, I'd like to be able to start running again; thanks to my knee and being out of shape, running is incredibly unenjoyable for me. I'd like to overcome at least one of these hurdles.

Also on this note, I'm thinking about yoga. I've tried a yoga class before and didn't love it--perhaps because it WAS so much more taxing on my body than I'd like to admit--but I'm thinking that incorporating a little bit into my day couldn't hurt. At the very least, stretching before and after bed couple really help me sleep. I know when I get home, all the resources I have available will pale in comparison to working and class, but I have to get into the habit now and hope that I can just follow the routine when I get home. I read recently that 50% of skinny people are still considered unhealthy based on their BMI, and I have no doubt that is the case with me. I'm young--there's no reason I shouldn't be healthier.

I think I've also gotten smarter in my time here, if we can look past how egotistical that sounds. I'm more savy in terms of how I act--living in a city will do that for you--but I've also been reading a variety of things I hadn't had time for in my busy life back home. I've really found my passion in women's studies and politics and can often talk circles around people in those areas; I'm learning that focusing on those passions can take me pretty far. I'm also surrounded here by a lot of smart people who LIKE being smart; I have this back home, too, but here we all have the luxury to sit over coffee and actually spend time trying to be intellectuals. It's nice. All of this has led to me being more devoted to my beliefs.

Making friends from a variety of new places has also been good for me; it's no surprise for anyone that Fairfield is lacking in all sorts of diversities. I think it's interesting to look at all the American kids over here and try to figure out how we could all have wound up in Brussels considering what different lives we all come from. It's funny, when you have a familiar group and a familiar environment, you forget what it's like to start all over. I was really pleased it was as hard as I was afraid it would be.

So, I'm feeling better than I have in a while. I've got a great new group of friends here, and hopefully that can hold true when I get home. My relationship has only been improved by being here together. All in all, I've feeling comfortable and confident.

Being here isn't without its pitfalls, of course. To review:

-Money! Not making it, and spending a lot of it, sucks. Not to mention the exchange rate (I initially type that as rape, which may be a more accurate depiction at this point) of $1.60 to a Euro. My last few weeks here have the added pressure of living on a crazy limited budget. Also, I don't yet have a summer job lined up, a fact which is causing no short supply of anxiety.

-Coffee! European coffee still pales in my comparison to what I'm used to back home. I miss coffee being my go to staple: a $2 bottomless cup would have me set for the night! By that token, I miss diners and all our adventures in them. I miss Dunkin, and I miss my tiny little coffee maker all to myself.

-Friends and family. I've been really homesick since spring break; I wish I could see everyone for like a week and then come back to my life over here. Missing Alyssa's confirmation, when I was supposed to be her sponsor, along with Kevin's college choice and other family things, has made me really want to be home. I miss Fairfield friends and New Jersey kids alike. However, I'm so psyched to come home in six weeks and see everyone! I expect to see some tears of gladness, people!

-My wardrobe. This sounds superficial, but I can't afford to buy new over here, and I'm really sick of everything I have here. This especially applies to shoes. Also, with the weather changing, I'm wishing I had more in terms of warm-weather wear.

-Nice weather. Brussels has gotten better lately, but Rome gave me a taste of forbidden fruit. I'm excited to go home, wear skirts and sandals, work on my tan, go to the beach. In short, European adventure or no, it's almost the end of the semester and I'm ready for some summer vacation.

-Language! An Oxfam rep tried to get me to sign up for something the other day; I had headphones on, and though he probably asked me in French, I thought it might be Dutch, especially since I was at the Dutch-speaking campus. Since I didn't know what language he used, I didn't know how to explain that I couldn't speak it. For I mumbled awkwardly and then said Sorry in English, and left. Cause saying "no thanks" in any language would have been so hard...

That's a brief review of how my thoughts have been bouncing around lately. I've loved the travelling, but I think come the end of May, I will be more appreciative of home than ever before!

I've got an appreciation for John Mayer right now--he has a lot of songs about the glamour of something new wearing off. And I've always liked Why Georgie, but here's a snippet of why:

I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
Wood in places to make it feel like home
But all I feel's alone
It might be a quarter life crisis
Or just the stirring in my soul
...
Everybody is just a stranger but
That's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay
Still "everything happens for a reason"
Is no reason not to ask yourself

If you are living right
Are you living right?